Thursday, July 06, 2006

Still wish I was on vacation

Just sitting here wondering whatever happened to Shooter McGavin...Ok, that's a lie, I'm still thinking about being on a soap opera. Hey, at least I can admit to it. There is a 12-step program looking for me!

While in Florida, I had a chance to golf. I am a pretty crappy golfer but still hit the links. Early in the vacation, I played the course at the condo complex my father-in-law owns a unit in. Names of people, complexes, and courses have been hidden for security reasons (you understand later).

My father-in-law warned my brother-in-law and I that there was a ton of water on the course. I have a bad slice and of course most of the water is to the right so I needed to prep. Estimating that I would lose about 158 golf balls, I went to the store and picked up 30 Top Flite balls for $20.

The day started out with the guy at the pro shop telling me that my Greg Norman design mock neck GOLF shirt was not proper attire. This went over well with my wife who bought me the shirt for Father's Day and was the first time I had a chance to wear it. So, I took the 23 second drive back to the condo to get a collared shirt. Bad Karma followed...

Holding true to form, I put my first two shots on the 1st hole in the drink. I think I was on pace to shoot a 280 on a par 72 course. The real fireworks began on the 5th hole. No water to the right at the tee but there were condos. Do you see where this is going? I hit the roof of the condo. We freaked out and decided to head to the drop area.

Lost a few more balls, hit another condo (or two), and finished the round shooting a 141, almost double of par. In all, I lost 25 golf balls and hit 3 condos. My wife again was thrilled.

My brother-in-law and I went back out later in the week to a public course that was more on our level (see easier in the dictionary). I had my best triumph and a near disaster all in one day.

On the par 4 332-yard 11th hole, I used my brother-in-law's Nike driver to tee off (I know that goes against all golf etiquette but do you see that I needed the help). No water or condos on this hole so I promptly teed off and hammered a 264 yard drive straight down the fairway. We had a cart with GPS and tracked it. The longest drive of my life!!! I instantly offered to buy the driver but the deal could not be closed. I bogeyed the hole. Yes, it took me four shots to go the last 68 yards.

I continued to use the Nike driver which led to near tradegy. On the 13th hole, condos lined to the right. I wallop another big drive except this time, it's screaming toward the condos. Luckily, a palm tree slows it down a bit before I sent it on to someone's upstairs porch. May or may not have sent it through the Lanai. We are sure without the tree interference, the ball would have gone through the condo. We paused to see if we could hear anyone whimper in pain. Nothing so we scattered and I took a drop.

I shot a 120 on the day, hit 2 condos, and only lost 10 golf balls.

Ahhh, improvement! My wife is so proud!

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