Thursday, July 20, 2006

I think I misquoted myself

Bloggin' wondering how you get misquoted in your own autobiography!

Terrell Owens published his second autobiography recently. Yes, I was shocked too to realize how someone who has done so little could have not one, but two autobiographies.

The beginning of the book states, "These are my own words". Apparently, the flap is over a piece in the book that references his comeback in the Super Bowl XXXIX as "heroic".

Just so T.O. and his handlers are clear, an autobiography is supposed to be by YOU and Owens then clarifies it further (in case we didn't know that it is written by him) that these are in fact his "own words".

Owens says that he did not say that. Because "it was one of the words that Jason used." Jason being Jason Rosehaus the "co-author" and brother of T.O's agent Drew Rosehaus. Terrell Owens' publicist denies that Owens was misquoted in his own autobiography.

So basically, T.O., Drew, Jason, and anyone else in the Owens camp are complete morons.

So what have we learned here kids. (1) That T.O. didn't proofread his own autobiography, (2) nepotism is alive in well, (3) only Owens is vain enough to milk more publicity out of a situation like this, and (4) we are a suckers (me mostly) for giving Owens more undeserved pub.

Here's hoping the first time he crosses the middle this year for the Cowboys that some Free Safety rings his bell and shuts him up.

Friday, July 14, 2006

All-Star Edition

Reflecting on the Major League Baseball All-Star game wondering what Fay Vincent is doing these days.

I tuned into Home Run Derby for all of 30 seconds only to realize I already know what is going to happen. If we already know they are going to hit home runs, where is the element of surprise? A friend of mine said he watched because he wanted to see how far the ball went. Hmmmm. I think I would watch for that only if they got more points the farther it went. Maybe that would have been better when all the players were still juicing.

I too will jump on the bandwagon of those in the media ripping Manny for not attending the All-Star game. The fans did vote him in after all. Bad knee or not, he should at least show up. Worst of all, he still gets a bonus check for making the team. If you don't show, you should not get paid for it. How many years has he stiffed the All-Star game? Sadly, Bud Selig will do nothing about this. Can you imagine what would happen if Peyton Manning or Shaq pulled something like this? Next year, let's just leave Manny off the All-Star ballot so MLB doesn't get embarrassed again.

I liked the All-Star batting practice jerseys on Monday night. Putting each league in one of the Pirates primary colors was genius. Just when I thought baseball had things going in the right direction...BAM...they botch it up.

Call me naive but I thought on Tuesday when the All-Star game was played that they actually might have All-Star jerseys. Nope. I don't care if they wear their own pants and cap, but can we please take Manny's All-Star check and buy each team jerseys? I can see Derek Jeter in pinstrips 11 and a half months out of the year. Just one night it would be cool for him to play in a jersey representing his league!

I guess everything wasn't all bad during the All-Star break. Ozzie Guillen didn't insult anybody...that we know of!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Still wish I was on vacation

Just sitting here wondering whatever happened to Shooter McGavin...Ok, that's a lie, I'm still thinking about being on a soap opera. Hey, at least I can admit to it. There is a 12-step program looking for me!

While in Florida, I had a chance to golf. I am a pretty crappy golfer but still hit the links. Early in the vacation, I played the course at the condo complex my father-in-law owns a unit in. Names of people, complexes, and courses have been hidden for security reasons (you understand later).

My father-in-law warned my brother-in-law and I that there was a ton of water on the course. I have a bad slice and of course most of the water is to the right so I needed to prep. Estimating that I would lose about 158 golf balls, I went to the store and picked up 30 Top Flite balls for $20.

The day started out with the guy at the pro shop telling me that my Greg Norman design mock neck GOLF shirt was not proper attire. This went over well with my wife who bought me the shirt for Father's Day and was the first time I had a chance to wear it. So, I took the 23 second drive back to the condo to get a collared shirt. Bad Karma followed...

Holding true to form, I put my first two shots on the 1st hole in the drink. I think I was on pace to shoot a 280 on a par 72 course. The real fireworks began on the 5th hole. No water to the right at the tee but there were condos. Do you see where this is going? I hit the roof of the condo. We freaked out and decided to head to the drop area.

Lost a few more balls, hit another condo (or two), and finished the round shooting a 141, almost double of par. In all, I lost 25 golf balls and hit 3 condos. My wife again was thrilled.

My brother-in-law and I went back out later in the week to a public course that was more on our level (see easier in the dictionary). I had my best triumph and a near disaster all in one day.

On the par 4 332-yard 11th hole, I used my brother-in-law's Nike driver to tee off (I know that goes against all golf etiquette but do you see that I needed the help). No water or condos on this hole so I promptly teed off and hammered a 264 yard drive straight down the fairway. We had a cart with GPS and tracked it. The longest drive of my life!!! I instantly offered to buy the driver but the deal could not be closed. I bogeyed the hole. Yes, it took me four shots to go the last 68 yards.

I continued to use the Nike driver which led to near tradegy. On the 13th hole, condos lined to the right. I wallop another big drive except this time, it's screaming toward the condos. Luckily, a palm tree slows it down a bit before I sent it on to someone's upstairs porch. May or may not have sent it through the Lanai. We are sure without the tree interference, the ball would have gone through the condo. We paused to see if we could hear anyone whimper in pain. Nothing so we scattered and I took a drop.

I shot a 120 on the day, hit 2 condos, and only lost 10 golf balls.

Ahhh, improvement! My wife is so proud!

I'm thinking I should still be on vacation

Just got back from vacation wondering why I can't get a walk on role on "Days of our Lives"? All I'm asking for is one episode and they can even kill me off in the end, like in a warehouse explosion so they leave the door open for me to make a comeback. Sports broadcasters do this all the time. John Riggins, of Westwood One, was a regular on a soap (The Guiding Light). Craig Kilborn of ESPN fame (who did play-by-play for them) also appeared on a soap (The Bold and the Beautiful). Call me, I'm ready!!! Ok, so I have thought about this way too much...on to sports.

I spent a week down in Florida with my wife and son so I have a little catching up to do.

* My sister-in-law tried to convince me that the World Cup is exciting. Moreso that it is better than American Football (gasp!) She has watched many of the games, but I just can't get into it. Why invest an hour and a half of sports watching for one goal. ONE GOAL. I need scoring! Besides, I can't tolerate all the diving that goes on. A guy falls over a long blade of grass and gets removed on a stretcher. Didn't Jack Youngblood of the Rams play on a broken leg? These "football" guys won't play with a broken nail. Score one for American Football.

* I'm trying to get close to baseball again but it's hard. I used to be a huge fan when I was a kid. My grandfather (who was a prophet) told me baseball was boring and the only way he would watch is if they put land mines in the outfield (now that's a good reality show). I became disenchanted with the sport after the strike in 1994 and only in the last two years have I begun to pay attention again. I got upset last week when the all-star teams came out. Not so much about who's in and who's out but the ridiculous rule that every team has to represented. Is that a true all-star game? No. It's a game featuring the best player from each team and a few others. Why does each team need to be represented? Are we going to hurt the feelings of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays if they don't get a guy on the team? Give me the best 12-14 players and 10 pitchers and see what they got. I'm not even getting on my soap (opera) box about the winner getting home field in the World Series but can we seriously talk about getting these things changed.

* Speaking of the World Series, is our country that narcissist that we think we are the only country that has sports. Just because there is a team in Toronto does not make MLB a world league. Isn't that what the World Baseball Classic is find the true WORLD champion. I'm not just picking on baseball, the NBA does this too. The Miami Heat did not win the world championship, they won the LEAGUE championship. I think the Olympics proved that we are no longer superior in hoops. Again, having a team in Toronto a world does not make. Yes, throw the "well the best players in the world play here". Not really. How many of the guys on the Argentina team that won the Gold medal in Athens are in the NBA? The answer is three (as of the Athens Games) Manu Ginobili of the Spurs, Carlos Delfino of the Pistons, and Andres Nocioni of the Bulls. Two,who I'm guessing you didn't know before you read that, were non-factors on their respective teams.

* I'm so glad Shaq got the better of the Kobe-Shaq divorce. He guaranteed a championship in South Beach and a mere two years later brings one home. Can youuuuuu dig it?